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i spent 21 years on earth, here's what i learned

2026-02-15
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1. Start shoddily
When you're doing anything for the first time, it's okay to do it badly. Actually, it's not just okay, it's good even. For example, if you want to learn to code, you should just start writing bad code, not spending all your time researching which IDE is the best to use. Do exactly what you want to learn, nothing else. Start with the mindset of I'm about to do this thing I want to learn poorly but that's ok cause I'll eventually figure out what I'm currently doing that's wrong and improve later. Nothing that's really great started off good, and everything that's bad has the potential to become something beautiful.

2. You must leave your house often
Your home is a place to eat, sleep, and tell your family that you love them very much. Always leave. You don't have to go far. Go study at the coffee shop, go take a walk around your neighborhood, do whatever, just don't stay home. Otherwise every day starts to look the same and before you know it your memories start to blend because your brain doesn't care to differentiate between your days because all of them look identical and suddenly you're living a compressed life. It's poison to the plot to spend too much time at the spawn point. Move around the map.

3. Close your tabs quickly
I mean this in many different ways. If you owe someone money, pay them back before they ask. Also when I say close your tabs, I'm talking about the ones you've got open in your brain. That TFSA account you need to open, that silly reel your friend sent that you must watch and acknowledge, the weird transaction on your credit card that you need to call your bank to dispute. All of these are loops spinning around consuming space in your head and it's doing psychic damage. Bring closure to your tiny administrative tasks, do it often, do it quickly. Give yourself the joy of resolution.

4. Make "thank you" your most frequent phrase
Verbalizing your gratitude often is important for two reasons. For one, it's a courtesy to the other person to acknowledge what they've done for you. I can't remember where I saw it, it might've been a tweet, it might've been a blog post, but I read this one line that went like: "people don't care if you don't return the favour they did for you, but they absolutely do care if you didn't acknowledge it", and that's so true. Don't let other people think that their acts of kindness have gone unnoticed. If you've done something nice for me, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, I want you to know that I registered your kindness and want to echo it back to you. The second reason is that expressing gratitude out loud activates that part of your brain that makes you realize even subconsciously: look at all this goodness, look at this abundance of fantastic things that have come my way, how lucky am I? I love my life.

5. Have mercy, show grace
There will be times in your life when you will find yourself in a lopsided power dynamic, one where you're in a position of strength and you have the opportunity to punch down on someone else. It may even be someone who has hurt you deeply. Regardless, it is very important that you exercise restraint and demonstrate mercy, even if it's a kindness the other person would never have shown you. Be forgiving. It keeps the heart gentle.